Do you know what it’s like looking in the mirror in disgust? How do I get me to love myself? All I want is to cry for not being skinny enough, for not being pretty enough, for not being perfect. All I feel is ugly. I fake the happiness, I fake that I like how I look, I fake it all. Deep down I hate everything about me.. when is this gunna end? Day by day this illness is killing me. I honestly wish a day could go by that I don’t let my flaws get to me. I just want to get better, I’m tired of starving myself just to feel somewhat happy with how I look. I hate myself. I hate my body. I just want to be skinny.. I want to feel worthy. Everyone says I’m beautiful, that I’m perfect.. but as much as I want to believe it I don’t and never will.
I wish I understood why I feel like this… why I am falling so down, so deeply.
Welcome to the life of having Body Dysmorphic Disorder.